Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Beginning of Episode 3
The Episode begins with the whole group still in Hyrule at the lake just a week later after Episode 2.
Lake Hylia at 7:00 a.m.
Everyone is Awake except for Robert. Silver walks in to wake him up.
Silver carries Robert with his psychokinesis over the fishing hole and drops him in, waking him up.
Splash!
ROBERT (Spazzing out)
Huh! Wha!
SILVER (Having a shit eating grin)
Morning.
ROBERT
The hell did you do that for?
SILVER
I wanted to make sure you didn’t over sleep because today, we’re going to the forest.
ROBERT
It’s been a week already?
SILVER
Yeah! Now dry yourself and get dressed. Blaze has already made breakfast for you.
ROBERT
Alright. (*sigh* why am I always the one getting wet?)
Silver reads Roberts mind and gives him another small splash.
Hey!
Almost an hour later, Robert wakes up completely dry and clothed.
BLAZE
Morning kid. Did Silver use the classic water trick to wake you up?
ROBERT
Oh he used it alright. In a much more elaborate way.
Silver smiles at Robert with his “shit eating grin” and waves.
BLAZE
Well that explains why it took you an hour. C’mon eat your breakfast before it gets cold. It’s gonna be a long day.
ROBERT
Thank you…… wait where’s Shadow and Charles?
Shadow and Charles walk in the scene with Charles having a lot of peck marks on him and Shadow carrying an empty basket.
SHADOW
Hi
They all observe at Shadow and Charles.
SILVER (Concerned)
What the hell did you guys do?
CHARLES
Oh you know…… try to scrounge up some more eggs.
Flashback to an hour ago to where Charles and Shadow are at the Ranch. They’re in the one building with all the Cuccos (chickens) inside.
Ok Shadow, we just came here to get enough eggs for breakfast, we have a long trip ahead. So we need to stock up on what we can get.
SHADOW
I’m sure this won’t be difficult. We just need to get a few eggs. How hard can that be?
A few minutes later.
WHY THE **** IS THIS SO GOD DAMN DIFFICULT!?
CHARLES (Trying to calm him down)
Shadow, it’s been 5 minutes and your already pissed off.
SHADOW
I DON’T CARE! THEY MOVE SO ****ING FAST DAMN IT! IF I HAVE TO CHASE ONE MORE CHICKEN, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE WILL BE INSTANTLY DINNER!
Shadow launches a Chaos Speer at a Cucco, killing it. All the other Cuccos turn at Shadow and Charles and prepare to Attack. Charles notices this.
CHARLES
SHADOW!
SHADOW
WHAT!
Shadow notices the pack of Cuccos staring at him and Charles.
Um…… It was him.
He points at Charles and teleports out.
CHARLES
Shadow! Get back here right…
Charles gets tackled by the Cuccos and he barely escapes through the door.
Switch back to the present time.
And that’s how I ended up with all these marks.
Blaze, Silver, and Robert look at Shadow.
SHADOW
Hey, I didn’t want to be one to get pecked at.
Robert finishes his breakfast.
CHARLES
Grrr……
Skip ahead to an hour later in front of the Lost Woods.
Lost Woods Entrance, 8:00 a.m.
ROBERT
Okay, it looks like we’re here.
BLAZE (Taking the map out)
I have the map all ready.
ROBERT
Then let me see that map.
Blaze nods yes and hands him the map.
Robert looks at the map.
Where are we going in this forest?
They all look at the map.
SILVER
Well Zelda told us to stay away from the temple that’s there, let’s head for the village that’s also supposedly there.
ROBERT
Then let’s not waste any more time, and start exploring.
SHADOW
Finally, I can only carry so much.
The whole group enters the lost woods.
Meanwhile in the distance, the rest of the Eradicors of Gaming are looking.
Liz turns to the 40-year old woman next to her.
LIZ
Get Howard on the phone now!
The 40-year old types in the phone number for Howard a.k.a. the “Angry Husband”.
HOWARD (Picking up the phone)
What do you want!?
LIZ
I just saw my son go into the woods.
HOWARD (Shocked)
What! He’s coming here?
LIZ
It’s okay because I have a plan, and it involves kicking you out.
HOWARD
Seriously?! Why?
LIZ
Because you put my son in danger ya nitwit! Plus what kind of guy would just ditch their wife like that? I just hope that you have protection.
Liz hangs up the phone causing Howard to be so angry he throws phone to the ground, smashing it to pieces.
HOWARD
God Dammit! I go through all this trouble just to taint other worlds including this one, and this is the thanks I get?!
Howard uses his share of the Emerald pieces to call in the Poe Sisters (Who are possessed by the Emeralds power.)
Listen up! A lot of shit is gonna go down. If anyone gets near this temple, kill them immediately. No exceptions!
The Poe Sisters disappear and Howard hides himself within the temple itself.
Switch back to the group in the lost woods at 10:00 a.m.
Everyone is walking pretty slowly.
SILVER (Tired)
Robert? Blaze? Can we take a break?
CHARLES (Tired)
Yeah please? I can feel the pain in my ankles.
SHADOW
So you’re both just going give up the mission?
CHARLES
Nope, but I’m just giving up for today.
ROBERT
Now guys, I understand that it was a long walk.
SILVER
It certainly was. It’s been 2 hours.
BLAZE
Silver, you’ve had much longer walks. This should be no trouble to you.
SILVER
Oh now don’t you say that shit to me. You would say that a whole lot back when we were dating.
Robert steps in.
ROBERT
Hey, hey. Pull yourself together Silver. We’re almost at the village so you can rest.
SILVER & CHARLES
Thank you.
They all press on to an area with ruins.
SHADOW
Woah. Talk about impressive. Are you sure this is right place?
ROBERT
I don’t think so.
CHARLES
This can’t be the temple Zelda was warning us about. Is it?
Robert checks the map and flips it over only to realize one thing.
ROBERT
Uh… guys? I had the map upside down, we gotta go back.
Robert runs away.
CHARLES
Are you serious?
ROBERT
Don’t argue, just run!
Everyone else runs away except for Shadow.
SHADOW
Heh, Nice try. But I don’t see any ghosts around here.
Shadow turns around and sees the Poe Sisters behind him.
Shadow is shocked.
Guys wait for me!
Shadow drops the bag of supplies without knowing and skates away with the others.
The Poe Sisters just disappear back into the temple because they didn’t feel like killing the group.
The group stops in a random part of the lost woods.
BLAZE
*pant* is everyone here?
Everyone raises their hand.
Okay, good.
SILVER
One day, Robert’s gonna be the death of us.
ROBERT
It’s like we’re in ****ing Lost Woods Silver. Seriously even with a map, it’s still kind of hard to navigate this place.
SILVER
Says the guy that had the map upside down.
CHARLES (Talking to Shadow)
Oh! Shots Fired! Bullet Dodged!
ROBERT
Okay look, we’ll take a break here. I need to eat something anyway.
SHADOW
Right. Just let me get my……
Shadow reaches behind his back only to find his backpack gone.
Oh don’t tell me.
Then Shadow realizes he dropped the food and other supplies back at the forest temple.
Damn it!
SILVER
Well isn’t this perfect? We’re not only lost, but now we’re all going die of starvation.
BLAZE
Silver! We’re not gonna die!
SILVER
Oh sure, let’s leave it to someone who can’t read a map.
ROBERT
Oh like you would do any better. You looked over the map with me and you thought it was right-side up.
Robert and Silver argue on who’s dumber in terms of making decisions.
SILVER
So that’s how you want to play it huh? At least I didn’t go to a shady pizza place.
ROBERT
I’m pretty sure Slender is still on your ass for that 20$ bill you stole. And don’t even get me started on your ending sequence back in Sonic 06. To this day I sometimes wonder, what the hell were you thinking?
SILVER
Well at least I’m not the one that’s in a dirty, interspecies video.
SHADOW (Talking to Charles)
Ouch!
ROBERT (Pissed off)
THAT TEARS IT!
Robert tackles Silver. They roll across a bridge that leads into the village. Everyone else follows Robert and Silver.
Before they go into an actual fist fight, Blaze breaks it up.
BLAZE (Separating Robert and Silver)
Alright you two, that’s enough!
ROBERT
He started it.
BLAZE
I don’t care who started it!
Blaze turns her head to Silver.
Silver?! What the hell is wrong with you today?
SILVER
Hey I don’t like getting lost in any forest. Especially here.
BLAZE
There is still no need for the both of you to act like children.
CHARLES (Notices that they’re at the village)
Uh… guys?
BLAZE, ROBERT, and SILVER
What is it?!
Everyone listens for the sounds in the distance.
Then after a moment of silence, a bunch of children pop up from the trees and bushes and prepare their slingshots. They’re revealed as the Kokiri.
BLAZE
Okay…… now we’re gonna die.
Robert, Blaze, Silver, Shadow, and Charles put their hands up and prepare to get brutally murdered by rocks.
However, a green haired girl walks in and stops the attack.
SARIA
What’s going on here?
One of the Kokiri Children notices Saria and walks to her.
MIDO
Saria! These 5… whatever they are have just stumbled upon our village. They could be dangerous.
SARIA
………Just let them go.
MIDO
*sigh* fine.
The Kokiri Children lower their slingshots.
Saria walks up to the group.
SARIA
I’m so sorry for this. I know who you guys are.
ROBERT
You do?
SARIA
Of course, Zelda telepathically told me as I’m one of the Seven Sages.
ROBERT
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
SARIA
So how long were you exploring the lost woods?
SILVER
Over 2 hours.
SARIA
2 hours?! Then by all means, take a rest here.
BLAZE
Thank you.
Everyone sits down near and open cauldron that’s filled with boiling stew.
SARIA
If you were exploring for that long, then you might as well just eat something.
CHARLES
Again, thank you. Especially since Shadow dropped our supplies back at the Forest Temple.
SARIA (Shocked)
You went to the Forest Temple?
ROBERT (Embarrassed)
Don’t ask how we got there.
SARIA
And the Poe Sisters didn’t try to kill you?
ROBERT
Yeah, we were really lucky.
SARIA (As she hands out small bowls of stew)
Hm… I wonder if that has something to do with The Great Deku Tree.
SILVER
The Great Deku Tree?
SARIA
Yes. He’s the guardian of this village and protects us from any outside kind that would do harm. It also helps us survive since we’re eternally children. But something happened to The Great Deku Tree, and he’s been silenced since then.
SHADOW
I’m surprised you lasted this long without him.
SARIA
Well at this point, we’re used to what we do. We would go in and check it out, but none of us have strength to do it. Heck, I can’t even go in.
SILVER
Why’s that?
SARIA
I sense a dangerously dark force set in the depths of the tree itself. More powerful than what the Evil King, Ganondorf could accomplish.
ROBERT (Finishing up his stew)
Well, if that’s the case, this is where we come in.
SARIA
Are you sure?
BLAZE
Yes because, if you say it’s more powerful, that means it’s not from this world.
Blaze slurps up the last of her stew.
Can you lead us to him?
SARIA
Well…… Alright, if you say so.
Saria leads the group to The Great Deku Tree. Which is dead.
Here he is. Just not…… alive.
ROBERT (Sensing the power)
Woah, you weren’t kidding. We better check it out.
BLAZE
Alright. But Shadow, Silver, and Charles, Stay with the villagers just in case if anybody attacks.
SHADOW
The forest is so dense though, I don’t see anybody attacking the village except for Liz and her forces.
ROBERT
Even then that won’t happen at least for a while.
CHARLES
Okay, in the meantime though, we’ll try to come up with a plan. Just be careful in there.
BLAZE
We will.
Robert and Blaze enter The Great Deku Tree.
ROBERT
Wow! This place is bigger than I thought.
BLAZE
Well we are in the real……
Blaze hears some footsteps.
Did you hear that?
ROBERT
No. What are you talking about?
Robert feels a tug on his shoulder.
!!!
Prepares a punch.
REBECCA (Invisible)
Woah slow down!
Touches her belt buckle and turns visible.
It’s just me.
ROBERT
*sigh* Don’t scare us like that.
REBECCA
Sorry, just trying out my new belt that I stole from our enemy. I think you know who the leader is by now.
BLAZE
What makes you think that?
REBECCA
Did you forget that I’m the one spying on Liz?
ROBERT
*sigh* I still can’t believe it’s been a year since I left. Boy do I have a shit load of explaining to do.
Robert shakes his head and changes the subject.
Hey Rebecca, could I ask if we did something for you?
REBECCA
Sure, what is it?
ROBERT
When this Hyrule job is over, Maybe Blaze and I can take you out on an actual date. Blaze can help you and I can help Charles so you two can interact properly in person.
REBECCA
Mmm. I’ll think about it. But I came here to give you some news. The husband isn’t here.
BLAZE
What?! Then that means he’s at the forest temple.
REBECCA
I’m afraid your correct. But if this dark power truly exists within this tree, there is one place where you’ll find it. Follow me.
Rebecca leads Robert and Blaze to the source of the dark energy by jumping down the hole that’s in the center of the room. Rebecca then leads Robert and Blaze to another hole and stops.
Hm… it looks like the source is coming from down there.
ROBERT
Are you sure?
REBECCA
I’m positive. Why don’t you look for yourselves?
Robert and Blaze look down into the hole until Rebecca “accidentally” Pushes them both down. They fall to the bottom level.
